Physical Pain
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Ever been so depressed that you actually have stomach cramps and trouble breathing ?
Answer:
They are the bastards who fired me for something I didn't do, and then I lost my job, my references, etc... without recourse because i am not in a union. They are the bastards who have teased me into thinking after some 40 interviews I I may have some job stability, but who don't hire me, despite my being more bilingual (supposedly a plus here, but black is white and white is black in government towns, they are all cesspools by nature) and qualified and educated than they are. They are also the doctors i may say that have zero, no answet to anxiety, and who peddle dangerous pills to patients, who are nothing more than pushers for pharmacetical companies, and who then discourage you from taking the one pill that gives you a fighting chance at a normal functioning life. They are the idiots who hand out mere tickets to assholes who drive like fucking maniacs, speed, talk on cell phones, pass your lane into uncoming traffic dangerously, etccc but who pass a criminal law against driving while taking medication that helps me. They are the corrupt and crooked and morally bankrupt lawyers who do not follow their own Bar Association ethical guidelines, who feast on the misery of divorcing couples, who charge hundreds an hour to breathe in their disgusting revolting presence. They are bullshit politicians who waste our time only making more dumb laws for such corrupt lawyers to make more money. Tip of the iceberg my friend. I have legal, financial, medical, familial troubles all at once, and I am boxed in , alone, without an out, with no solutions. I've only explained some of it to get it all off my chest. No idea why I do it on the Internet, I suppose it's a form of howling at the moon. Everything I have tried in real life, all my efforts, my attempts to help myself, to pull myself by my bootstraps, to seek out help that i thought might be there, etc... have all come to naught. This past week, a law passed that sealed the deal. As time goes by, things only get worse, and I'd be lying to ya if i said i wasn't terrified, because i'm beginning to think i will end up in jail, street, or homeless shelter. I've been there many times , meaning depressed and paranoid. I felt like I'd fallen to the bottom of the earth and then it opened up and I was in free fall. The only thing I can say is that you need to get help . There are two types of people the neurotics, who blame themselves for everything and the psychotics who blame everyone else. Medication does work along with the right type of therapy. I can see you are in a difficult place and I wish you luck in finding the light. Also remember time changes all.
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